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Is there much of a community around working as an escort? Have you formed friendships with other women at your agency? Who do you look to for guidance or help? What are your relationships like with the men you see?
Are they ongoing or once-off situations? All of them are ongoing, which makes for a much better relationship. Getting to know a client is just like getting to know anybody else——a potential friend or lover, and in this case both. They range from their thirties to mid-fifties, and are all very successful at what they do, though not always socially adept. None of them are currently married; a couple are divorced. They want to get all that they can out of the experience. Does that affect the quality of your work?
Also, like any other girl, I become a bit of a tongue-tied idiot around an attractive man. Bodily fluids are not a problem to me outside of the scatological, though I would probably do number two on somebody if the price was right. I do draw the line at anything that would leave a mark, which includes heavier torture no burns, bruises or whip-marks. I am fine with kissing and having orgasms, however. A lot of them offer drugs. Some girls at the agency do say yes, and their answers range from boredom, to a need for distraction so he was that awful , to a means of transcending the experience some people are better partners when inhibited.
For me personally, I need a clear head. Who sets those guidelines — you or an agency? The agency is concerned with safe sex, but I feel that should be a concern of everyone involved, most of all the client. The agency is quite relaxed as to what we do with our time with the clients——they were the ones who interviewed us and trust to have the skills, which is something I appreciate.
What are the misconceptions about the work you do? I am none of those things. I got into this job because of a curiosity——a curiosity that some might find strange, even morbid, but if there was ever a wholesome motive to get into this profession it would be this. I am not looking for validation in regards to my self-esteem. Regarding being good in bed: I accompanied men and was accompanied in action, in the extrovert part of life; I plunged into that but not sex; that seemed to be their delight and all I got was a pleasure of being wanted, I suppose, and the tenderness not nearly enough that a man gives when he is satisfied.
I daresay I was the worst bed partner in five continents. In some ways I am still the same teenager fascinated by sex and the idea of being wanted——not loved, or even liked. That does not always mean my enjoyment. But to be able to provide what I do in such morally questionable contexts all the while keeping my own personality and life separate from it——this is a privilege, to me.
I am not the queen of blow-jobs, nor a woman kept afloat by double-Ds. How do you ensure your safety while working? Like I said, I always stay relatively sober and have zero toleration for things I do not want done to me. To be handily within reach of a naked pair of testicles takes care of the safety aspect for the most part. My driver did tell me once he carries around a gun.
Being simultaneously scared and relieved is a very funny feeling. Do you have a partner or significant other? If so, how does your work fit in around that? If not, are you interested in dating? Do you have a contingency plan for when this happens?
There are still tokens of affection exchanged. My boyfriend would definitely have a problem with it, which is something I completely understand. Hiding it from him involves a fair amount of sneaking around. Is the guilt an aphrodisiac? However it has made me a much better girlfriend, as perverse as this sounds.
Do I feel like a shit? Enough to do something about it right now? Some may argue that this logic means I should break it off. Is working as an escort helping you to achieve an ultimate goal — like for example, saving a certain amount of money? Use it for something useful. Obviously the occasional splurge is necessary, though. You do want to remind yourself why you do this on a deliciously shallow level every once in a while. What would you say to your best friend if she expressed interest in getting into sex work?
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